Lights Camera Action!
by Chaos Terror Destruction
Summary: My take on how Transformers became a movie. If they were real, that is.
1. Chapter 1

**So, I'm insanely bored. And this seemed like a good, and oddly original, idea to write about. I don't know if this is how it actually works in the movie business. Probably isn't, but for all intents and purposes this is how it'll work in this story. I know it's short, but I'm not sure how to continue at the current moment. If I'm lucky, I'll have another (short) chapter tomorrow. :) Read on!**

I looked at the blinking line on the screen as if it was an enemy. I didn't have a clue what to write. They wanted the script by next Monday! Glancing over at the ever-growing pile of manila folders on my desk, I decided to look through the movie pitches.

Hours of reading, and several cups of coffee later, I came across a certain pitch that was remotely interesting. It was from a one T. Galloway.

"A war between two factions of alien robots over a priceless artifact comes to earth. One faction to destroy humanity in search of said artifact, the other to save." I read aloud. "Huh, I like it." I picked up the phone and dialed the number listed in the file.

"Theodore Galloway." A voice on the other line answered.

"Yes, this is director Michael Bay, I would like to speak to you about a movie pitch..." I leaned back in my chair.

**So, how'd you like? Again, I know it's short. But It's what I got for now. :) Review please! Even if you didn't like it. I would like to know. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey! So I know I said... uhh... I think it was Sunday I said that I would post. Yeah... I forgot. And I was freaking out about the Science Fair project that was due today (Tuesday) that I did this morning. Good times... Well! Enough excuses! On with the show!**

It was just another ordinary day at the not-so-ordinary military base where National Security Advisor Theodore Galloway was stationed. He went about his daily duties thoughtlessly. Waking, showering, eating. All done without a single thought. It was when he got to his desk did he finally fully wake. The growing stack of files on his desk sure did the trick, if the coffee didn't. He sat gaping at the files until the door slammed open. In walked Major William Lennox, his face red with anger.

_Yay. _Gallowaythough miserably. _Just another pain in the neck._

"Yes, Major?" Galloway inquired as he reached for the top folder on the pile.

"Are you trying to get us killed?" Lennox all but shouted. Galloway pointedly ignored that jab. "You can't cut funds anymore! Pretty soon we're not gonna have any funds to cut." The Major slammed his hands against the desk, effectively getting Galloway's attention.

"I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about." Galloway replied smoothly. "I'm just doing what I think is best for this operation." He looped his fingers together in front of him.

Lennox scoffed, "Best. Right." He opened his mouth to add to his comment, but was interrupted by the phone ringing. Galloway gestured for him to leave, and picked up the phone.

"Theodore Galloway." He answered, glaring at Lennox as he left. His face paled as he heard the next words uttered. He had completely forgotten about the idea he pitched to the movie studio. Galloway had gone completely out of his way to make the Autobots' lives harder, and forgotten after the reports piled up.

"Yes. How may I help you?" He took a deep breath to steady his nerves. Then grinned gleefully. This was just the kind of thing to aggravate the Autobots into hurting someone enough to have them sent into space. Or so he thought. (O_o)

"Where did you get the idea for this movie?" Director Michael Bay's voice asked from the phone.

"My day to day job." Galloway answered, his eyes widening as he thought about how he was going to explain it to SecDef.

"So, let's cut to the chase. I would like to meet with you about the scripting for the movie. How's Wednesday sound?"

"I'm.. gonna have to talk to some people and get back to you." Galloway squeaked out, then promptly hung up the phone.

**I was gonna put when Galloway tells Prime what he did, but I wasn't sure what to do, so I'll save it for another day. :| **

**So, again, there's not a lot, but to me Galloway seems like he doesn't wanna be there. His whole goal in life seems to get one of the Autobots to kill someone so he'll get to send them to space. But to me it goes deeper than that. I think he wants to get out of there, it seems like the gov. sent him there cause they didn't want to deal with him, I mean, seriously, would anyone like to deal with Galloway. At least Simmons was remotely cute... But Galloway... he's got nothin'. **

**So, enough rambling. :) Please R&R.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **_So, I know it's been a while, but I was looking through the stories I have written and posted, and realized I haven't updated this in a very long time. Again, it's not very long, but I don't have the time, nor the willpower to write anything longer, at least not at this moment. _

Optimus Prime was a reasonable man, uh… bot. However in all of his years of experience, he had never encountered someone such as Theodore Galloway. That man was a menace, he stopped at nothing to try and get them off the planet. This, however, was a new low.

"You did what, exactly?" Prime said in a low voice.

On the raised structure in front of him stood Director Galloway, shaking in his boots.

"Well, I uh might have sent a movie pitch to a studio about you guys. I didn't think they would like it! I swear!" Galloway finished defensively. "I was just trying to get you guys angry enough to leave."

"So, to paraphrase, you risked the security and the safety of this team for kicks and giggles?" Prime raised one metal eyebrow.

Galloway opened his mouth to dispute, but swiftly closed it. "Yeah." He said in a small voice. "So, are you guys angry enough to leave?" He asked quickly.

Prime deliberated, "No. Personally, I kinda like the idea of a movie based off of us. But, you get to be the one to tell the president. And Defense Secretary Keller." He smirked.

Galloway once again was reduced to a shaking mess of terror.

_To anyone following the PJO story I'm writing, I haven't finished the second chapter yet, mainly because I can't figure out how to make it end... Oh well, I'll try and finish it quickly. Sorry 'bout that. _

**_EDIT 03/18/11 _**_So... Someone, I don't remember her penname, and I'm too lazy to go look it up, pointed out to me that I had written the same thing twice. I fixed it. It doesn't say the same couple lines twice now. Sorry. Haha, I feel like an idiot now. Ah, well. Pff, live and learn. _


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N **_So... yeah. Hi. I'm really bad about updating. I figured since it had been almost half a year since I last updated, I might as well now. At least this ones longer! And by longer I mean this one is 443 (Word says 431) instead of 208 (Also what Word said.). Anyway, I still haven't figured out how to alter the ending for the second PJO book, 'cause really, at this point I don't even remember what the ending was. Whatev. It'll come to me at some point. Hopefully. Read on, or not. Don't really care. Review if you want to. Don't if you're lazy. I know I am. _

* * *

Once upon a time, in a faraway place, there lived a man name Theodore Galloway. At the moment where you, as readers, catch up to him, he is about to walk into the Oval Office to tell the president he may have compromised national security just to get some alien robots to leave the planet. He was not a happy man.

As he walked hesitantly into the legendary office of the almighty President of the United States, he noticed two key details: there was another person present for his meeting with the president, and that other person was Defense Secretary Keller. Not the best situation to be in at the current moment.

"Mr. President, Secretary Keller." Galloway nodded to each man in turn as he acknowledged them. "Since you're both here, it makes it one less time I have to repeat myself. May we speak privately?" He asked looking back at the Secret Service men standing by the door.

The President nodded to the men, and they took their leave. He gestured to the open chair in front of the desk. Located right next to Secretary Keller. Joy.

As Galloway sat down, he began his tale. "To start, I would ask that we don't interrupt, and wait until the end to ask questions." With a hopeful look on his face, he looked up at the two men.

The President gave him a disbelieving stare, "No."

Galloway sighed, "I expected as much." He opened his mouth to begin but couldn't seem to find the right words, eventually settling on the wrong ones. "I may have possibly threatened national security." He said quickly, bracing himself for the shouting.

"What?" the President said incredulously. "What do you mean 'possibly'? How does one go about _possibly_ threatening national security?"

"Well, you see, I may have sent a uh, movie pitch about the Autobots to uh, Hollywood. And it may have sorta kinda been accepted, and they uh, want to uh, make said movie. And uh, Michael uh, Bay wants to uh, meet with uh, me and the uh, Autobots, and uh, I think that uh, you should uh, attend as uh, well." _(Wow, I didn't think anyone could use that many instances of the phrase 'uh'. Ah, well I wrote it. Ha.) _Galloway stuttered slowly.

"No." The President said, shaking his head.

It was at this point that Keller felt he should speak up. "Sir, I think we should let him do it." The President looked at him questioningly. "It might build character. Who knows?" The President nodded thoughtfully, and then smiled. This could work.

* * *

**A/N **_I just love those line breaks. They're fantastic. Also, if you want to, go watch _**Kid History**_ on YouTube. It's funny. Also, while you're there, look up _**Viral Video Film School**. _That's hilarious. OR you could look up **YGOTAS**. Message me if you don't know what that stands for. or Google it. Whichever. _


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N**_ Well, I realized something this morning. Two things actually, one that I could spell realized with an s and still be gramatically correct, and also that if I am reminded that I have a story to update, I actually update it instead of completely forgetting about it, which is what usually happens. Reminders come in the form of reviews, story alerts, et cetera. Again, longer! This one is 802 words (according to FFnet, Word says 776). Almost double yesterday's chapter. _

* * *

Galloway looked at the number on his phone screen. All he had to do was press send and the call would start. He couldn't do it. His hand shook. A sigh was heard from the corner of the room. A figure dressed in military fatigues walked up, took the phone, pressed send, and gave it back. Smirking, Major Lennox walked out of the room.

It rang and it rang and it rang. Theodore Galloway prayed that it would never be answered. But alas, his dreams were crushed.

"Michael Bay." A voice from the phone answered.

"Yes, this is Theodore Galloway. I spoke to my superiors, and thankfully after not killing me and burying my body somewhere in the Nevada desert, they agreed to let me meet with you in regards to the movie pitch I sent." Galloway rehearsed into the phone.

"Ah, good. I am free all day Wednesday. I need this script in by next Friday, so we need to get working. Where can we meet?" Michael Bay said, pleased with the circumstances.

"Nellis Air Force Base. Meet me on the air strip. At the gates, tell them you're meeting me. I would bring your passport too, if I were you." Galloway quickly said into the phone receiver.

WEDNESDAY! _(Because I like time skips, it makes things easier to write.)_

The driver whistled as the limo pulled up to the air strip. A large cargo plane was being prepped for lift off. Crates of what seemed to be supplies were being stacked inside. A pair of curious eyes looked from behind a tinted window. As the limo stopped and the door was opened, an interested movie director filed all this information away for later questioning.

"Mr. Bay, welcome." Theodore Galloway said as he walked up to the limo as the driver pulled away, now free of his passenger. "If you would join me on the plane, we could be on our way."

"Of course." Bay nodded. "Where are we going exactly?" He asked as they entered the plane.

"A military base by the name of Diego Garcia. It shouldn't be too long after we take off."

"_This is your captain speaking." _A voice sounded from the speaker. _"We are cleared for lift off. Please fasten your seat restraints and turn off all electronic devices." _

"Time to go." Galloway smiled as he turned off his cell phone and pulled out a file folder and pen. "I'll need you to sign a few forms before we arrive." He handed the folder to Bay.

"What kind of forms?" Bay asked as he skimmed the documents.

"Oh, just your basic secrecy forms. What you can and cannot script into a movie. Et cetera." Galloway shrugged.

"Ah, well then." Bay set to work at signing the documents. The two hour flight passed in relative silence. _(I know that it takes like 18 hours to get from Las Vegas to the middle of the Indian Ocean, I don't care. It seems too long. So let's say it's off the coast of California. Kay? Kay.) _Neither party speaking.

As the plane pulled in front of a closed hanger, a man in military fatigues walked up to the pair exiting the craft.

"Major Lennox, this is Michael Bay." Galloway said in way of introductions. Lennox saluted. "Bay, this is Major William Lennox."

"Nice to meet you." Bay stuck out his hand for the Major to shake.

"The pleasure is all mine." Lennox said amused. "Everyone's assembled inside. I'm going to go alert Sam and Mikaela to your arrival." Lennox walked off, smirking.

Galloway gestured for Bay to follow him towards the hanger. As they neared the entrance it was opened by a group of soldiers who saluted to Galloway.

"Welcome to Diego Garcia!" Galloway gestured to the hanger, which was full of different cars. A large black truck, a red and blue semi, and a sleek silver ride among other vehicles sat surrounded by spikes. An elevated platform in front featured state-of-the-art communication equipment. _(Imagine the hanger from the second movie at the beginning after Shanghai.) _

"If you could follow me, we will begin introductions with the team." Galloway started up a set of stairs at one edge of the platform.

"There's no one in here but us." Bay said slowly as he ascended the stairs.

"Oh, how wrong you are." Galloway shook his head and made his way to the center of the platform, gesturing for Bay to stand beside him. "Autobots assemble." He shouted into the open space ahead of him.

A series of whirls and clicks met the confused and slightly worried director's ears. As he surveyed the scene before him, he saw something that he never imagined he would see.

* * *

**A/N **_If you could let me know of any weird mistakes I made, that would be awesome. Also, I'm bored out of my mind. If anyone needs a beta, I'd be happy to help. Please, save me from my boredom of actually having to do homework, and preparing for my AP test, and dreading next year's IB and AP tests. Not lookin' forward to that. :D - smiley! _


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N **_So, I was going to post this last Monday, but I was lazy and didn't write it until today. Yeah... on a somewhat brighter note, my fish is still alive! I really need to change that water... ... ... Anyway, this one is longer, 1,031 words (Word says 1,001). Aren't you excited, I'm excited. You should be too. Anyway, since I don't really read these, I'm sure you aren't. So, read on, or not. Whichever, but really if you came this far in the story you might as well. _

* * *

There are things in this life that you never think you'll be able to experience. Things like climbing Mount Everest, or eating kimchee(1). Or maybe you never thought you would get married, or have a child. Or even touring the White House in Washington, DC or seeing Temple Square in Salt Lake City, Utah(2). One of the things that Michael Bay never thought he would experience was seeing an alien robot. Of course, he never put it on his bucket list, for that would be preposterous. Why would one expect to see an alien robot? They wouldn't, that's why. What would you do if you saw one? Would you scream? Run? Faint? Well, dear Michael did none of these. He turned to Director Galloway and uttered one sentence.

"Now I know why you needed permission."

Galloway nodded, understanding that he was slightly in shock. "It's okay, I screamed and fainted the first time I saw them."

Michael _(I've decided to call him that from now on) _nodded, "Oh, it's nice to know that I'm taking this better than you did. So, shall we start this meeting?" He suggested pulling out a file folder and pen.

"We shall" Galloway _(I tried calling him Theodore, didn't fit the same.) _turned to the now-transformed alien robots. "Optimus?"

The largest robot stepped up, a red and blue one. Presumably transformed from the large 18-wheeler Michael saw earlier. "Good morning. I am Optimus Prime, Leader of the Autobots." He spoke in a deep voice, one that raises the hairs on the back of your neck.

"Michael Bay." Michael introduced himself. "I assume that you want an accurate retelling of the story?"

"Well, yeah!" A voice said from below. Michael looked down and saw a small green Chevy staring up at him incredulous. Well, at least as incredulous as one can get with a gold tooth.

"Ah. Before we can begin scripting, we need the story. Is that where you come in?" Michael found a chair and sat down, getting comfortable for the story that was to be told.

"Yes, but not just me. A certain Sam Witwicky will also be joining us. Where is he?" Optimus asked Galloway.

"On his way, I think. Lennox went to get him when we got here." Galloway turned around.

"I'm here!" A voice called from behind.

"There he is. Sam, come on up. We need to get started." Galloway called down to someone.

As he ascended the stairs to the platform, Michael got a good look at him. He was young, 20 at most, and slightly scruffy-looking.

"Do you want to start?" Sam said when he joined them in the middle of the platform.

"I think I will. (3)Before time began, there was the Cube. We know not where it comes from, only that it holds the power to create worlds and fill them with life. That is how our race was born. For a time, we lived in harmony, but like all great power, some wanted it for good, others for evil. And so began the war, a war that ravaged our planet until it was consumed by death and the Cube was lost to the far reaches of Space. We scattered across the galaxy hoping to find it and rebuild our home. Searching every star, every world and just when all hope seemed lost, message of a new discovery drew us to an unknown planet called Earth. But we were already too late. I believe I will stop there. Sam, do you want to begin your tale?" Optimus asked the awed young man.

"Yeah, okay." Sam said. He paused wondering where to begin. "When I was 17, about 3 years ago, my Dad promised me that if I raised $2000 and got 3 A's, he would buy me a car. So I raised the money and got the A's, the last was really close to being a B, I did it on my great-grandfather. Dad took me to this used car lot, with some weird guy dressed as a clown, it was creepy.

"There were a couple of relatively nice cars in the lot, but only if you compare them to the other cars in the lot. There was one that grabbed my attention, a yellow Camaro with black racing stripes. Oh, it was fantastic. So the lot owner, Bobby, had told me that the car chooses its driver. I felt like this car had chosen me.

"I got in, and it had a symbol in the middle of the steering wheel, it was the Autobot symbol. Bobby told my dad that it was 5 grand, but Dad didn't want to pay anything over 4. When Bobby told me to get out, something let out this really loud screech that shattered the windows of all the cars in the lot, except for the Camaro. We ended up getting it for $4000. You know, I think we need another point of view for this." Sam looked around until he spotted someone walking in through the door on the other side of the hanger. "Maggie!" He called to the blonde woman.

"Yeah?" She answered.

"Come up here, we need another point of view. We got mine, and Optimus'. We need yours too."

She nodded and quickly ran up the stairs to the platform. "You know, since I'm here, we should get Major Lennox's as well. There are parts of this story that he knows that we don't."

"She's got a point." Michael pointed out. "Does anyone know where he is?"

"I'll go look for him." A gruff voice from below said. "He's bound to be around here somewhere." The robot transformed back into the black Topkick that Michael had seen earlier. He could hear him grumbling as he drove out.

"What do you want to do until he gets back? My story picks up after both of theirs." Sam said finding a chair to loaf(4) in.

Maggie spoke up, "I've got an idea. Who wants to play Truth or Dare?"

* * *

**1** Can also be spelled _kimchi. _It's a traditional Korean dish, rotted cabbage, you put it in a jar and bury it for 3 months. Yeah, not near as nasty as it sounds. But I'm not fond of cabbage in the first place. So... yeah. My sister's ex-boyfriend is Korean.

**2 **You have to see it at least once in your lifetime. Preferrable at Christmas. The lights are beautiful.

**3 **Yes, that is directly from the beginning of the movie. I love it. And it's fun to imagine him saying it. With a voiceover. :)

**4 **That is such a fantastic word. It means to be lazy, or idle. I love it. And loam means earth! I learned that from Blogging Twilight. It's hilarious. It's on sparknotesDOTcom.

**A/N**_ yeah... I feel kinda bad about leaving it there. But I didn't really know how to tell Maggie's side yet. Ah, it'll come to me. Eventually. Good news, I have school off tomorrow. That means more time for writing! _


	7. I would appreciate it if you read this

You know, I had this whole entire thing written out and then BAM!. One wrong button pressed and it's all _gone_. I will try and recap what I had originally wrote, but I will not fully explain everything again.

I have come to the startling realization that I am lazy as hell.

I know, I know. You shouldn't be surprised. You should really come to expect it.

I don't really do things without a motivation to do them. I may have found the motivation to write again, but I don't really know. I will try to have something out for each of my stories by the end of July. I would say June, but I'm leaving on Friday to go out of the country for the rest of the month. There will be spotty internet and the internet I will have will be trying not to fail IB. (Last quarter, I almost pulled off failing ToK. Have no idea how I managed to do that. Ended up with a C because my teacher loves us.)

I'm just saying this because I feel that you should all have an update about the goings on of my mind. You know, I should start a blog. ... No. No, I should not. I just remembered there are supposedly cookies outside the front door. I need to go get them.

Anyway. I'm here. I'm waiting. I haven't abandoned anything. ... well... I haven't _really_ abandoned anything. I never truly abandon things. I have this painting from, like, 2 years ago that I still kind of work on. If I don't have something out by the end of July, you have full permission to head my lynch mob. Or write it for me. Either one works, really.

Also, did you know that the person that gave Vatican City its independence was Mussolini? That's right, the fascist Italian dictator gave the Catholic Church its own little city-state. Huh. I didn't know that before today and I still can't figure out why.

At any rate, the spacing on this site is weird and I have no intentions of fixing it or trying to work around it. Shoot me a message or a review or something if you have an opinion on anything. Like if I should rewrite anything, or scrap it all and start from scratch, or if you have something that you want to be written. And you think it's a small enough project that I can do it and not get completely sidetracked.

TOODLES! ;)


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